I'm one of those people where I don't want to call the doctor over every little thing. And clearly I maybe should have looking back. But there is that whole thing about hind sight being 20/20. I wouldn't trade my experience for anything and I would do it again in a second. With Maxwell's 4th birthday being today I'll tell you about one of the scariest and happiest days of my life.
This is me not long after finding out I was pregnant. I was about 2 months pregnant and not showing yet.
We found out we were having a little boy at 20 weeks. I was happy no matter what but Jeff was really excited to have a boy. I think he was afraid of everything that came with little girls and he figured he had someone to watch baseball with. We had a name picked for both a boy or girl depending on how the ultrasound went. If Max would have been a girl he would have been named Ellison Jennifer. We had picked several names for a little boy and we constantly went back and forth. My favorite names were Campbell and Hogan, Jeff on the other hand wanted Vladamir, Boris and Rocco. We had even settled on the name Otis Andrew at one point, but everyone hated it so much that we changed it. We figured if he is already getting made fun of in the womb we should probably change it now before it got really nuts.
I didn't realize my pregnancy was coming to an end so quickly. This last picture was taken a few weeks before I delivered and you can see I had already started swelling a lot. My wedding ring didn't fit anymore and I was not feeling well. Who knew your nose could even swell!
I hadn't been feeling well for days. I was so swollen that I could barely walk or do even simply things. It was a Friday morning and my alarm went off. I got in the shower and attempted to shave my legs because I wasn't able to fit in any of my maternity pants so I knew I would have to start wearing dresses. I remember driving to work and clocking in. Being asked how I felt even though I knew I looked like hell. People were worried about me but I told them not to be. I had a doctors appointment that afternoon right after work and I was worried because I was thinking I was going to be put on bed rest by the doctor. I didn't want to spend the next 6 and a half weeks on bed rest so I was dreading the appointment. I sat down to work and started a normal day. A few hours into my shift I started feeling really bad and I kept seeing spots. With my job I had to be able to see the computer so I could keep track of my officers and I knew I needed to step away for a few minutes. I asked a girlfriend to work my channel for a few and tried to relax. Apparently I was looking pretty rough and my co-workers called medical. Even though I was begging them not to send an ambulance I lost the fight. One of my co-workers was also an EMT so he was adamant that I get checked. The EMT's arrived and they started to check my vitals. My blood pressure was so high that they were worried I was close to having a seizure which would have been bad for me and the baby. They wanted to transport me by ambulance but this time I really refused and told them I would drive myself. Everyone came out of the woodwork telling me that they were taking me if I refused to be transported. Surprisingly enough my dad was getting a permit for a new shop building at the building next door. He saw the ambulance in the parking lot and I guess his spidey senses were tingling and he came down to check it out. When he found out it was his little girl he made me get in his truck and head to the hospital. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't finally listen to everyone and go get checked. This story is getting long so I'll spare you the minor points. Needless to say my doctor came by and was surprised to see how swollen I had gotten. I had no clue that your skin could actually split from being so swollen. Have no fear it didn't happen but it was close. Both my parents were with me and Jeff too. They were doing some tests and I just knew they were going to send me home on bed rest. I sent Jeff back to work so he could finish up and come back. The doctor then came in and told me that I had pre-eclampsia and it had gotten so bad that I was going to have to be admitted and deliver in the next 24 hours. They gave me a steroid shot to try and help develop Max's lungs to help him breath at birth. The doctor told me there was a chance that Max would be fine but that I needed to be prepared for any possibility. Apparently Caucasian males tend to have the hardest time in the NICU, the nurse tried to put me at ease telling me it was "wimpy white boy syndrome" she would tell me "to bad you not having an African American girl, they do the best in the NICU." We laughed and I told her I didn't think I would be able to change it now. But my wimpy little white boy is a fighter, and tough as nails. So maybe the hard beginning actually helped him. The next morning I was all nerves and ready to meet my little boy.
What did I tell you about the swelling... yeah. Plus I got acne really bad during my pregnancy. I definitely did not glow nor did I feel at all pretty.
I went in for my c-section and Maxwell Oliver Brown entered this world on August
16th, 2008 at 8:24am coming in at 4lbs 14oz and 17 3/4 inches long. I was scared and wanted to know why I didn't hear any crying. What felt like forever had passed and I finally heard it. My little boys sweet first cry. I remember being strapped to the gurney unable to move my arms crying. I tried to see past Jeff to get my first glimpse of this wonderful gift I had been waiting so long to receive. I had given Jeff very specific instructions to document every second of what I couldn't see. Little did I know until a few months later Jeff was blocking my view for a reason. Max wasn't breathing when he was first born and the nurses were working to give him air.
When it was all said and done I finally got to meet my little boy for the first time when he was 24 hours old. I was so scared to see this fragile little baby with oxygen, cords and an IV attached. I was afraid to touch him at first thinking he was so fragile I might move something or do something wrong.
Our first family picture.
It's crazy to see the little boy Max has become compared to that first time I saw him. So many details have become hazy. I remember my family and friends coming to visit. My sister came from Texas and stayed for a few days and then came back several times and when Max came home for a week. She must have made 5 trips back and forth between Texas and Oklahoma. I also remember the award winning pep talk she gave me about how even though I was scared I was made for this. And I remember my best friend Christie coming to visit with her husband Greg and their newborn Nicholas. She went to meet my little guy in the NICU and Greg was nervous about seeing him so he stayed and kept me company and watched Nicholas. It was so sweet for him to stay with me and it made me start to feel normal to have a conversation that had nothing to do with pain medication or if I had lost any more water weight. The nurses and my Doctor kept close watch of if my blood pressure was going back to normal. They weighed me everyday to make sure that I was getting rid of all of the water that I had gained from the swelling. The day after Max was born I lost 30 pounds of just water weight on top of delivery weight loss. I didn't realize how much I was being weighed down until I started to loose the weight. It also made me feel better to know that I hadn't gained as much actual weight that I would have to work off as I thought. I was released from the hospital after 5 days and it felt so strange coming home without our baby. Jeff went back to work so that he could have more time off when Max got to come home and my sister stayed with me. Bringing me back and forth from the hospital several times a day. Even the smell of the hand soap to this day takes me back 4 years ago. It's all of the small things that seem insignificant to others but what make up my son's birth story and mean everything to me.
Max finally came home after 10 days in the NICU and it has been a crazy ride ever since. Those first months were a definite learning experience. It also showed us how many people truly cared about us and the newest member of our family. The little boy that came into this world early at 33 weeks is growing by leaps and bounds and I don't want to forget any of it.
These are pictures from those first couple months at home.
