Snowmageddon 2011

I am shocked by the weather we are having here in good ole' Edmond Oklahoma! This weekend was absolutely beautiful weather. We played outside and got to take out toys we haven't seen in a little while. Also the car that Max got for Christmas got to come out of hiding and took a few laps. Daddy came home while we were outside and they kicked the ball around some too.

74 degrees on Friday

Today there are massive snow drifts and I even had to get a ride into work. Gotta love this Oklahoma weather! I really love the snow, but I wish that I could have gotten to stay home too.



Visit to the dentist.

Last week I told you all about Maxwell's dentist appointment and the not so great week I had. Well both have come and gone and are behind us. Maxwell's dentist said that his teeth look good for the most part. I was told by the geneticist that whatever is going on might be what has caused his teeth to grow in funny. Dr Strange is very interested to hear what is going on because he is also perplexed as to why they have grown in this way. He also wants to make sure that we take extra good care of his teeth because with him being delayed there is a possibility of him having his baby teeth for a few extra years than normal. He also mention that he still is showing dental delay and was surprised to see that his 2 year molars haven't come in. Looks like there is a tooth (not a molar) that is about to erupt soon. Also Granny came to our appointment with us. She didn't tell the doctor but she took Max and I out to ice cream after his appointment. I'm sure the doctor would have been so excited to hear of our sweet plans. After the days I had last week mom felt like I needed some love in the form of ice cream and she always thinks that Max needs ice cream.

Here he is with said ice cream, yup using his own spoon!

 Here is Max patiently waiting for the doctor. He hammed it up and won over all of the ladies with his kisses and smiles! (Sorry it's fuzzy.)

Boost Me Up

Jeff and I decided that it was time for us to ditch the highchair for something a little more sophisticated. Max has made the official move to the booster seat at the table. It has been a very smooth move without any incidents so far. Also because of everything that has been going on with Max he has a hard time holding a fork or spoon. So our first day at the table was BIG cause Max used a spoon on his chicken and rice the entire meal. This is one proud mama bear!

Debbie Downer

I hate to be Debbie Downer here, but yesterday really SUCKED! Wow is all I can say. I wont dish the details but I will say that I have never been more happy to see my little boy. After a day full of name calling and puffy eyes I left work and picked up Max from school. We went home and laid in bed watching Curious George. I began to cry and Max kept giving me kisses. At that point all I could ask for is the unconditional love that he gave me. Such a sweet boy!

On a better note I'm thinking about attending or possibly teaching a sign language course so that Jeff and I can better communicate with Max. We know several words but on the chance that talking never happens we need to be able to really talk to Max. Also I received our paper work to have the Fragile X testing done. I'll need to take Max in at some point soon and have that sent off. Unfortunately the doctor doesn't think that this is his diagnosis but we want to rule it out just in case. Also Maddie gets her staples takes out today and finished her medicines so she is officially on the mend. Last piece of news for the day is that Max goes to the dentist today for his check up. How embarrassing would it be if a 2 year old had a cavity, ugh! I'm sure it will be fine. So until next time...

Thank You.

I have been around very giving people my entire life. Starting with my family and moving into friendships. My family has taught me what it is to give even if you don't have much to offer. Specifically my father showed me. He is constantly giving even when it's hard and I think that is something that my siblings and I have taken from him. In fact I have learned how generous my friends and family are with everything that has been going on with Maxwell. I have had offers to help us in every way possible. In fact yesterday I was slapped in the face with generosity. A coworker came in and placed something in my top drawer yesterday and then left. Looking at it I opened an envelope containing a generous gift. I hope that this family knows how much Jeff and I truly appreciate what they have done. And how much it will help with the upcoming testing that has to be done. We are still paying medical bills from the last few years. I am thankful to have a job where I have insurance but unfortunately my insurance company wont pay for the testing that needs to be done to diagnose Max. It is kindness like this that have restored my faith in people and help me to know that Maxwell might have a brighter future than I thought.

When it rains it pours!

While in Texas Jeff called me and told me that Maddie was hurt. Maddie is one of our dogs and also self appointed protector of Max. Once we got home and seeing the wound Jeff and I, along with the help of his mom, decided to take Maddie to the after hours vet. $325 later Maddie is home with 15 stitches and two tubes in her chest to drain the infection. I have also failed to mention that the motor is on the verge of going out on our Altima. So we are in need of a new car, have a vet bill and need a few thousand dollars for more genetic testing. Ugh! Thought to self...I wounder how much I could sell my crafts for or if Mcdonalds is hiring?

Maddie is the lobster and Herman is the monster. They were and still are at times Jeff and I's babies before Max came along.

The Future

I have been wanting to avoid this post because of the feelings that it stirs up. I wish I could unlearn what I know sometimes. Yesterday Max and I were in Texas at yet another doctors appointment. We went to see Dr Margret Drummond-Borg who is a geneticist with Cook Children's. We have been to a genetics doctor here in Oklahoma but didn't receive any answers. Unfortunately we received answers yesterday. Although there is still no diagnosis the doctor made it clear that there is defiantly something wrong with my sweet little boy. She wants to do more testing which we are used to and test for 3 specific disorders Fragile X, FG and PTEN. The doctor made it clear that whatever is wrong has a strong chance of  also having some form of mental handicap attached. I felt numb when she was talking. Just nodding my head and saying "ok, sure I can handle this." I'm worried I cant. I'm not good at putting my feelings into words when they feel so raw. I feel badly because I have my sweet angel and some people have lost their child. But I feel like I have lost the child that I thought I had. The dreams that I had for him and what he would be. I feel like I lost my sweet innocent child that with every hug or kiss I melt. No longer can I wear my rose colored glasses thinking that everything is going to be ok, that he will pass this phase and catch up to his peers. There is something wrong even though we don't know what it is yet. I will be his protector and stand beside him through everything. But the news is still so new. I have so many questions, so many worries. Will he be married and have children of his own? Will he ever be able to say he words I long to hear, " I love you mommy" and know that I love him always too? Will he always have to deal with the ignorant people that don't understand him or how wonderful he is? I feel like I'm going through the stages of mourning but I haven't lost anyone. I have been in denial and am now mad that this had to happen to my child! He deserves everything in the world and I want him to have it. Did I do this to him. Is there something I should or shouldn't have done? I want everyone to know that he is just as good as anybody else. I want the world to know that he is a miracle and we are all lucky he is in our lives. I'm rambling and I know it, but I love Maxwell so much that like any parent I want everything for him. I will do everything I can to give Maxwell what he deserves. My dreams are going to have to change for him. But I refuse to ever tell him he cant do anything. There is something wonderfully special about this child and I know that he is meant for greatness. He will affect the lives of others and empower people the way he does me. At just 2 years old this little boy has changed my life forever and I will be better for it.

Dual!

Max Got new swords from Target's dollar spot the other day. I HAD to get two swords or else daddy would be defenseless against the powers of Max.

We'll have to teach him to hold the right end of the sword. When he moves to a ninja sword he might get hurt.

Uh oh, Max is out for the count!

Jeff & Jessica: a retrospective

"My love for you is a journey; Starting at forever, And ending at never."

- anonymous quotation

As of today I have been married to my best friend for six years. And just like any best friend we have had our share of good and bad times. Thankfully there have been more good times than bad. Not only have Jeff and I been married for six years, but we have been together eleven years now. I have spent my adolescence with Jeff and created a life together into our adulthood. We have loved, laughed and cried together. Jeff is a hard person for a lot of people to understand. That might be part of what I love about him though. That we both have good and bad things about ourselves but we accept each other for what we are and how we benefit each other. I love my husband and the life we have created together. And I especially love the most precious gift that we gave each other, Maxwell. He has been my shoulder to cry on and my sounding board when I'm frustrated. I'm lucky to have met such a good man this early in my life even if he wont pick up his socks or close the cabinet doors. Like I said we all have things about ourselves and thank goodness he loves my quirks too. I thought I'd share some old and new pictures of Jeff and I throughout the years.

 May of 2000

Christmas Dance 2000

 2001

 Junior Prom 2011

 Senior Prom 2002

 After a concert at Denny's 2003

 Wedding in Vegas January 2005

Roadtrip to Texas 2006

 2007

 Flaming Lips concert december 2007

 Anniversary 2008

 November 2010

Welcome 2011!

We had our final Christmas shebang today with Yaya and Nanny. Max got a really cool Elmo table and coloring supplies. Also Jeff and I got some cash and I got a gift card to one of my meccas Hancock Fabrics. I made a pot of chili and we had a nice time together. Thank goodness I'll be at work tomorrow and don't have to change those chili diapers.